how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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