We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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