I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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