i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just gargled with NyQuil
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