I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
