Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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