How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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