i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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