so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
