how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize