can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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