If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
