idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Randomize
