And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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