would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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