I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
