rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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