So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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