She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
