Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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