i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
