people are starting to question the shark bite story
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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