if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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