so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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