This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
