I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Randomize