Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
