hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
