when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
