Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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