There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Randomize
