If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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