Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
God I need to hump something, right now.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize