My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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