dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
the raccoons are back...
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