I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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