I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
