I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
