The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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