Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize