it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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