butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
