Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize