Kiss
Puke
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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