I feel like I'm in dance class right now
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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