My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
A+ Viking dick
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
