i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
