She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize