The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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