Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
