There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
