yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It was confusing and full of hummus
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He did a backflip because drugs
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
