Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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