Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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