Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
