It's Friday. Sex?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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