Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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