Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
