I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
