She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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