I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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