she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
