Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I love black thongs
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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