Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
In America we eat man semen.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
i need some magic done to my vagina
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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