Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize