areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
