I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
