Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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