I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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