NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
